Monday, August 21, 2006
everything's so neat, yet messy at the same time!
sat: Family Day
brought parents for a treat at Crystal Jade Kitchen to celebrate early birthday dinner for my dad. the meal was super delicious! of cuz it have to for $80! we had roasted duck, sautee beef with mushrooms, a big claypot of stewed grouper's belly and some veggie with 3 different eggs. but honestly i'm glad both my parents enjoyed the food, thou it was a little too much! haha. anyways i brought them to watch the movie Click. 2 thumbs up for it! showing how important spending time with family is..i hope my dad gets the msg..sigh. he's always blaming me for slping late and stuff. but he doesnt know that he's the real reason behind it. sigh. i dont know how to tell him either. anyways i'm just glad enough that they enjoyed themselves on saturday. well so did i, cuz i got a new adidas sports shirt! heh heh. ;)
sun: God's Day
sunday as usual was "church day" for my family. so went to church as usual. have the usual main and youth service. i used to think that church is always a normal day of the week with "usual" activies. but i guess i'm always proven wrong my God! :) the many many past few weeks of used-to-be-normal-church-day, was different and refreshing! anyways recently, i've been asking God to reveal me more about worship leading. not that i'm assuming that i'm too-good-now or i'm horribe. but somehow or rather, worship seems to be a very special part of being a christian to me now. and somehow or rather dominick comfirmed with me that i should ask God to reveal to me other realms of worship. thats really amazing! :)
dominick told me that all of us are too used to be seeked by God all the time (even the times when we face difficulties). but i made a difference to start seeking God a few weeks ago when i started pouring out my heart to God. everything somehow or rather changed. e.g., i have never felt a bit emotional when i sing worhsip to God before. but from a few weeks ago, i always got the urge to cry out when i'm really worshipping Him. even to the extend that i feel God arms around me occassionally and in my imagination, i can actually see myself singing worship to Him alone in front of His throne. everything around me is white. the floor, wall and even the colomn beams. and only his throne is made of gold and there were 3 steps of stairs from the floor to the throne. that was what i saw. which is amazing isnt it? dominick was also telling abt how we shouldnt put people's opinons above really worshipping God from the bottom of our hearts. eg when we feel like kneeling down in front of Him and cry, we shouldnt restrict ourselves just cuz we are afraid of what people think. i admit i was struggling over this issue of how-would-people-think VS truely-worshipping-God. 2 weeks ago, i lead worship. i admit i didnt really feel God's presence till the last song: "Worthy Is The Lamb". as all of you should know, worhsip leader is always the one who should be the one starting the song/leading the song. i was supposed to start the song when i felt a sudden overwhelm of emotions falling on me. i tried to ignore them and opened my mouth to start singing in order to start the song. but nothing came out. instead, tears rolled non-stop out from my eyes. luckily i had matt as my backup singer and he helped me start the song while i just stood there sobbing. i dont know how to explain these in words. but i felt God very powerfully in the room. i knew i wasnt the only one who teared. but i'm glad that i chose to not think how people would think abt me. i believe that if i had chose people's opinons in front of God, i wouldnt be able to lead the people into worshipping God.
at the end of the day, i know that mere words are not enough to describe anything related to God for he is just way, way, way beyond the limits of what words can describe.
okay, anyways after church:
after treating my parents for a delicious meal, i got a treat from my dad to nice dinner with my relatives at some restuarant beside yio chu kang sports stadium. we has apasragus, kong-bao chicken, steam promfet, pepper crap and LAKSA CRAB! i think the food was so-so..except for the laksa crab. heh heh..
Today:
sigh. there is so much things happening consecutively around me now. one way or another it just affects me. in family, friends, BGRs. which is practically my whole life!
hello everyone?! it hurts to see these happening! i'm just very sick and tired of these..i'm tired of forcing out a smile. i dont feel like borthering abt these anymore. how i wished i didnt care, how i wished i dont have a soft spot for all of you. how smart of me to land myself in this situation! sigh.
how i wish everything will go back to normal SOON! ):
Christianity: It isnt a religion. it is all about having a personal relationship with God!
THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO CONCENTRATE TO ACHIEVE AND WORK ON! WAY TO GO JOWYNE! (:
sketched--* [at]
3:18 PM